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    • Commander RayCav

      CRITICAL ANNOUNCEMENT - THE FATE OF ASVS IS EFFECTED BY THIS DEVELOPMENT   03/02/2018

      The Orville >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ad infinium >>>>>>> ST: Discovery (aka Star Trek: PTSD) and Tilly is still a meme character. Carry on.
    • Commander RayCav

      Memorial Announcement for Gear of Troll Kingdom   04/02/2018

      As far as I'm aware he wasn't a member but some members of this board crossed over. Khas has told me he died of cancer, and regardless what community he will be missed.
    • Commander RayCav

      PLEASE READ - tagging me on Facebook and my retirement   04/09/2018

      It has come to my attention that I'm being tagged on Facebook posts by members of ASVS including the administration and moderatorship here. As I use that Facebook profile strictly for professional development...I have to request that you guys stop. I'm not kidding when I say it might become a serious liability, especially since I work in an industry extremely sensitive to things we joke about here. And with that, it has also come to my attention that the entire Commander RayCav persona has also become a liability towards my continued professional development - and so as of this moment I've decided to permanently retire it. I'm shutting this account down and I'm surrendering all moderatorship and administratorship responsibilities and privileges. I'll reregister under a new name as a regular member.
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Khas

The Chakat Slayers!

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Khas    12,154

Telek Antran took a swig of kanar from his flask, before putting it back in his jacket, and telling himself (again) why he was about to enter some backwater town at the ass-end of nowhere. It was about the job. Ever since the Chakat Menace had arrived, the Cardassian had earned a good living taking them out. And now, a more tempting offer arose. Taking out the source of the Chakats. With a reward that size, he'd never have to worry about making ends meet again.

 

Well, only one thing to do. He thought, as he hopped aboard the hoverbike. Riding the vehicle into the center of town, he found the local saloon, "The Drunken Dipshit". Real fuckin' classy. As he was about to step in, however, some fat, red-haired human man fell backwards out the door, and right into him, both men falling flat on their asses. The human man got up, before extending a hand and helping Telek up.

 

"Thanks." Telek said. "Name's Telek Antan, and your's is..."

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Airlocke    12,013

Kyle Grunted and grimaced at the strain placed upon his muscles while helping the strange looking man to his feet. He looks REALLY weird. "Ya ain't human, are ya? I don't wanna sound like no racist, but I ain't be seeing no one like ya in quite some time." Kyle retracts his hand and gives the man a drunken smile. The sudden movement, combined with the exertion of helping the strange man up, throws the red-head off balance, he stumbles and nearly falls, catching himself on a very conveniently placed barrel. "Thank God fer ya," he says to the barrel, as he crosses himself in the traditional Catholic fashion. "You sir be savin' ma life." God, I am so wasted.

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Khas    12,154

What in the three hells have I gotten myself into? Telek thought.

 

"Yes, you're right. I'm not human. I'm a Cardassian."

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Airlocke    12,013

"Huh," Kyle averts his eyes from the barrel-man upon which he is still leaning. "Ah, yeah. You. The strange lookin' fella. Kardashian? Like those brazen hussie Jezebelles me Gram warned me about? Ya ain't actually bein' a WO-man, is ya?" Kyle stumbles over to the distraught looking Cardassian and stands face to face with him, the stink of alcohol strong on the large man's breath. "Ya ain't gonna be makin' no moves on me, see? I only fuck upstandin' ladies!" Kyle tries to take a few steps back, but it appears that, given his drunken state, he is not capable of this action. He stumbles and falls in a very theatrical manner, arms flailing, legs kicking wildly, all the while screaming "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-". The wail is cut off and converted into a subdued "oof" as Kyle crashes into the barrel man, smashing the wooden container to splinters on his way to the ground. "OH GOD!!!!!!!! FORGIVE ME! I KEEEEELED HIM!!!!" The fat man begins to cry. Or bawl. Whichever. I cannot say, for certain.

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Khas    12,154

For the love of Oralius...

 

"No, I'm not a Kardashian, I'm a Cardassian. And I'm a man. As I said, my name's Telek Antran. And your name is...?" Telek said, ignoring the hick's weeping over the destroyed barrel.

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Airlocke    12,013

Kyle's blubbering begins to slow, and his posture stiffens somewhat. When he speaks, his voice is more controlled, and his slang less pronounced. "Oh, well I feel like a right ass. This is on'y a barrel." The fat man lifts himself to his feet with far more grace than one would expect of a man so large, especially one who was heavily inebriated just moments before. He walks over to the Cardassian and extends his hand. "The name's Kyle. Kyle McGuinnes. I must apologize for my previous actions. I can get a little stupid when I've been having a bit 'o drink." Kyle's southern accent is now a smooth and pleasant accentuation to his somewhat grammatically incorrect speech patterns. He is almost charming, in a way, and has clearly shaken off all effects of the alcohol. His breathing is more shallow and steady, his bearing strong and confidant, his stature has even been affected, as he now stands nearly as tall as the Cardassian, and seems far less rotund. "Telek Antran, you say? It is nice to meet you, if you don't mind my sayin' so. I do apologize for having bumped into, and I hope that I haven't caused any undue harm?"

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Khas    12,154

Well, my situation has certainly improved.

 

"I've had worse." Telek shrugged. "By the way, you wouldn't happen to own a gun, would you?"

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Airlocke    12,013
Well, my situation has certainly improved.

 

"I've had worse." Telek shrugged. "By the way, you wouldn't happen to own a gun, would you?"

 

Kyle looks flabbergasted. "That hardly seems ta matter! You must be one o' them 'quisitive' types me ma warned me about. Oh, well, I 'spose I should answer ya. Yeah, I own a gun. I'm a southerner, after all. Don't see how that matters ta you, though."

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Khas    12,154

"Actually, the reason I'm asking if you have a gun is because I'm looking for someone who does. Someone who will help me on an assignment I've been on for a while."

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Airlocke    12,013
"Actually, the reason I'm asking if you have a gun is because I'm looking for someone who does. Someone who will help me on an assignment I've been on for a while."

 

"Well, I can't rightfully say, seeing as how you haven't told me what this assignment is. How about we discuss it over a few brews?"

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